Monday, May 16, 2005

To Pee or Not To Pee...

... on the toilet seat.

Living in a single bathroom house with usually an equal mix of male and female residents, a source of contention has been whether or not the male members have an obligation to place the seat in the down position after use. Once my son reached about six years old, the cardinal sin of male urination with the seat in the down position has not occurred.

My wife and daughter maintain that the seat BELONGS! in the down position, as ordained by God. Well, not really ordained by God, but that describes best how adamant they are in their stance. I, on the other hand, believe that the toilet seat is much like a toggle switch, in that it naturally has two positions, and either is correct depending on the current circumstances.

So I noted with interest that the Times of India ran a story about a report entitled Social Allergies in Romantic Relationships from Louisville University. (Note: The original study is available via Personal Relationships journal, if you care to fork out $30 for membership in the International Association for Relationship Research organization. I didn't) This story was reported on Free Republic, and at the time of this writing had accrued more than 340 comments. A very large number of those comments singled out the toilet seat up/down issue as a major bone of contention in relationships. Many comments could easily be classified as women-bashing, as illustrated by this comment excerpt:

Some helpful hints for women:

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

Birthdays, Valentines and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again.

Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

If you think you're fat, you may be. Don't ask us. (besides, we're not suicidal enough to answer anything other than "no" anyway)

Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. It can't be altered so just let be.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, shortstops and carburetors.

Shopping is not a sport

Anything you wear is fine. Really

You have enough clothes

You have too many shoes

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometime.

I'm not going to show examples of men-bashing. If my wife or daughter want to do that, they can start their own blog!

Question of the day: If I were to walk into YOUR bathroom, would the seat be up, or down? Inquiring minds want to know!

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