Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Piss on it...

OK, work with me on this. The Register (via this /. link) is reporting that scientists have developed a urine-powered battery.
Researchers in Singapore have developed a paper battery that is powered by urine. Despite sounding gloriously silly, the breakthrough promises a cheap and disposable power source for home health tests for things like diabetes.

Although developed for medical applications, I can easily imagine many more useful applications. Anything that requires a small capacity battery should be targeted. How about cell phones, laptops, iPods, and other electronic devices. You'd never have to lug a charging cord around with you again. Think how convenient it would be in those all day conferences, if you could synchronize the low battery warning on your laptop with the need to eliminate all that bad coffee? Low battery? Piss on it. Cell phone going dead? Piss on it. Boss talking incessantly? Wait... nevermind on that one!

Let's carry this a little further. How about implanting the layers required for battery construction directly in your bladder? With a little innovation to increase function and capacity, you could urinate pure water, and jump start your car! Well, males could, anyway.

Hmmm, males and females. Lets consider electric sex! On second thought, lets not. I'll leave that to your imagination. It would give sparking a whole new meaning, though. And social encounters would begin with 'Positive or negative?', or 'What voltage are you?'. Males would then compare amperage, rather than physical dimensions. Resistance to a relationship would be measured in Ohms.

One major drawback that I can see is that once you were converted to Piss Power, getting trapped by an avalanche would mean certain death, since your only means of escape would have been eliminated (no pun intended here).

Science! Ain't it great?

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