Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Chicken and the F Word (Updated)

I remember a number of years ago (OK, OK, a LOT of years ago!) there was circulated (on paper, mind you - this was BUI, Before Ubiquitous Internet) a paper detailing all of the uses of the 'F' word. It demonstrated, with rules and usage examples, how the 'F' word could be used as a noun, a verb, an adverb, etc. It also gave examples of how the word, depending on usage and inflection, could convey emotions and attitudes. No links, find it yourself.

Anyway, now Brad Lewis over at Training for Eternity offers a piece titled Poultry Without Morals. He speaks of the myriad uses for chicken (Alright now! He is talking about FOOD). Here is an excerpt:

It is staggering, when you think about it, the number of ways the average chicken can be prepared, modified, recycled and reused. It can be fried, broiled, basted, roasted, and barbecued. Truly unique among the ingredients of the world. And as everyone knows, anything that is either unidentifiable or heinously unpalatable is usually said to taste like the wonder food, chicken. It would take volumes to adequately explain the creativity with which the food service personnel manipulate this culinary delight. And as I think back on my many months overseas in support of the war effort, I believe I can say with very little uncertainty that the US Army euthanizes and consumes at least one hundred billion chickens a day.
Very funny, and oh, so true. Appropriate or no, reading this paragraph brought to mind the theme mentioned at top. Go read the whole thing.

Update: Hmmm, seems Brad left out sliced, diced, and fricaseed, boiled and baked, stewed and simmered, sauteed and... I'm sure there's more.

Update: (06/01/05 4:07 PM CDT) I was correct, there ARE more things that can be done with chicken, other than those listed above.
From Denver's Channel 7 comes this report:

Senior Chicken Prank Runs Afowl Of Law
Costumed Chickens Let Loose In High School Hallways

POSTED: 11:22 am MDT June 1, 2005

BOULDER, Colo. -- The principal at a Boulder high school said that he has identified one suspect in a senior prank that involved live chickens and is looking for others involved in the fowl deed.

School officials found 39 chickens dressed in red vests and capes running in the halls of Fairview High School Tuesday morning. With the help of police and students, the birds were herded into the vice principal's office until the Humane Society of Boulder could take them to the shelter.

Oh, the inhumanity! Read the whole thing. Sounds like fried chicken tonight.

Tagged as , , ,